How to Turn Pain into Power Through Life's Storms

One day, a former colleague I hadn't contacted for a long time suddenly called me. He told me he was suing the company we previously worked for together. This lawsuit had already attracted significant attention from mainstream American media and was very high-profile. He hoped I would testify for him. However, due to a confidentiality agreement I signed, the passage of time making my memory vague, and past grievances being settled, I refused his request, expressing that I couldn't help. Then, this former colleague suddenly threatened me, saying that he would send me a court subpoena to force me to testify if I refused to testify. Instantly, I felt like a bolt from the blue, feeling that my situation was greatly threatened and everything happened inexplicably. I had left the former company for over six years, and suddenly, I was dragged into a legal dispute that fell from the sky. As a result, work and life stopped, and my family and I started searching for and consulting with lawyers.

On the same day, my five-year-old son developed a cavity that damaged his tooth nerve, requiring a root canal treatment and an iron crown. The child felt terrified and refused to undergo the treatment, which is understandable; after all, even adults fear root canal treatment, let alone a five-year-old child. Therefore, the dentist decided to handle it roughly by binding the child with a heavy cloth, making him unable to move. The child cried and struggled desperately, saying he couldn't breathe. My heart ached, and my mother-in-law held me back, persuading me not to intervene, saying it was for the child's good. My husband sat nearby, at a loss for what to do. When I saw the dental assistant pressing a heavy X-ray protective vest on the child's body, making it even harder for him to breathe, I couldn't care anymore. I decisively pushed away my mother-in-law, rushed forward to stop the nurse, and ordered them to remove the wrap! I held the child in my arms and said, we would rather not treat the tooth than cause such a significant psychological shadow for the child. The child curled up in my arms, with tears streaming down. On the way home, my migraine started, and my left eyelid began twitching due to excessive stress and tension. I comforted my mother-in-law, saying we would find another dentist. I knew another one who could handle it.

In just one day, I was stimulated by two significant events, one related to work and one related to family. In the evening, my heart was in turmoil, disturbed by various negative emotions such as fear, worry, anxiety, and helplessness. I complained: I had just dealt with a bunch of messy things and could finally work in peace, but why did such misfortune happen again? My child had just recovered from a severe illness, and my husband and I had taken a week off to take care of him. Why did we have to deal with dental challenges again? I couldn't help but pity myself and sigh; life is indeed one wave after another! But when my heart was tormented, unable to sleep, I suddenly calmed down and asked myself a question:

Suddenly, I had an epiphany — since life is full of continuous challenges, difficulties and challenges are the inevitable forms of life. As Buddhism says, as long as you are in the cycle of rebirth, you will always experience various sufferings. Since there is a universal rule that applies to everyone, it further shows that this world is a virtual game, constantly upgrading by overcoming obstacles. Since it's a game, facing inevitable hardships, why should we fall into various negative emotions? Just like watching a movie, since you know it's fake, why immerse yourself in the plot and be unable to extricate yourself? Then, I felt a burst of joy in my heart because I realized these endless challenges in life are opportunities for practice. My heart and ability advance to a new level whenever I overcome a challenge. As I mentioned in my previous article, not just these seemingly significant challenges but every meal daily is an opportunity for practice. Three meals a day, more than 1000 opportunities for practice every year. In this view, isn't every challenge life throws at you exciting? Another chance to upgrade yourself has arrived. Seize the opportunity and practice well. No matter how unfortunate things seem to outsiders, I started to believe they are gifts from fate.

Wang Yangming, the last saint of Confucianism in China, had a rough and brilliant life that can provide great inspiration for us. He once quelled the rebellion of Ning King Zhu Chenhao within 35 days. Zhu Chenhao had spent over ten years planning the rebellion, secretly gathering an army of 200,000 to attack Nanjing, the capital of the Ming Dynasty. How did Wang Yangming quell this catastrophe in just 35 days? He posted notices everywhere, announcing that the court had long known about Zhu Chenhao's rebellion and had gathered an army of 160,000 to counterattack. But at that time, Wang Yangming only had a few thousand temporary soldiers. He also sent a secret letter to Zhu Chenhao's advisors, pretending to induce them to attack Nanjing quickly. Zhu Chenhao was thus thrown into confusion and didn't dare to act rashly for more than ten days, during which Wang Yangming took the opportunity to gather supplies and troops, thoroughly preparing to quell Zhu Chenhao.

Later, Wang Yangming's disciples asked him how he, who had always read the books of sages and never read military books, came up with such a strategy. Wang Yangming replied, "The decision of victory or defeat is not made on the battlefield but in the state of mind, whether it moves or not." Fighting is not about divine strategies but about stability and a calm heart. Ordinary people would be scared to death facing an army of 200,000, but Wang Yangming could remain focused, calm, fearless, and think clearly in life-and-death situations. Such a person won't make wrong judgments and can see the opponent's mistakes clearly, so his victory is inevitable.

Before this battle, Wang Yangming had practiced sitting meditation for 11 years. He didn't reach this state of "unmoved heart" overnight but through years of practice. Eleven years earlier, Wang Yangming was framed by the eunuch Liu Jin and exiled to a remote place called "Longchang." Not only did he face harsh living conditions, but he also lived in fear of being killed by the powerful Liu Jin. So, Wang Yangming decided to place a stone coffin in his bedroom, doing nothing but sitting meditation every day, waiting to die. But during meditation, he gradually let go of his obsessions and fears and felt a sense of joy. He started chopping wood, fetching water, cooking with his servants, and even reading poems to ease their worries. The servants thought he was mad, but Wang Yangming persisted, singing poems and even dancing. Eventually, he cheered up the servants, lifting the gloomy atmosphere, and everyone started to live energetically. One day, Wang Yangming asked himself: If a sage were in this situation, what would he do? He was amazed to realize that even a sage would do no more than live in the moment, enjoying every process without fear or sadness. This is the famous "Longchang Enlightenment."

However, "enlightenment" is not the end but the beginning of "practice," as Wang Yangming said: "Understanding in quietness, practicing in matters." Sitting meditation is relatively easy because it's done in a quiet state while facing the various challenges life throws at us; dealing with the fears and worries they bring is the best way to temper our hearts.

The bestselling book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, helped survivors find the courage to live by finding the meaning of life. He proposed that we should not use success as a life's standard. The pursuit of success is excellent but can also lead to depression due to the shame of failure. Finding the meaning of life is different. When you have the meaning of life, you become determined, and success or failure doesn't matter. Success is just a byproduct of pursuing life's meaning. There is no universal meaning of life; each person has different meanings at different stages of life. So, you only need to find the meaning of this stage and achieve it. One way to find the meaning of life is to "embrace and accept the great setbacks life throws at you, see its meaning, which is to temper your life with resilience, allowing life to be tested and sublimated."

Finally, the famous writer Zhou Guoping's evaluation of this book resonated deeply with my recent thoughts:

Nvidia's first-quarter financial report for 2024 just came out, with a market value increase of more than $200 billion to $2.5573 trillion in one day. The company's CEO, Jensen Huang, has a net worth of $91.3 billion, surpassing the three heirs of the Walmart founder family, ranking 17th on the global rich list. Nvidia has encountered nine near-bankruptcy experiences. Jensen Huang once said in an interview at Stanford's commencement ceremony to the graduating class:

As Jensen Huang said, if you have read my previous article titled "How I Lost 15 Pounds in 6 Months and Beat My Weight Loss Plateau for Lasting Results" you will learn about some of my related experiences. I graduated from one of the best universities in China, Renmin University, and one of the best universities in the United States, the University of Southern California. I am fortunate to have capable, hardworking, resilient, wise, and self-made parents who accumulated a certain amount of wealth, so I don't have to worry about paying the expensive tuition at USC. From the second year of my master's degree, when I started my internship, I never asked my parents for living expenses again. My work after graduation was also smooth, having worked at Sony Entertainment, Disney Entertainment Group, Fox Media Group, and DreamWorks Animation's new media department. As a free intern, I was promoted to department director within five years. So, when I chose to leave this system, I played so well and wanted to try entrepreneurship; life hit me hard — I suffered from severe depression, and under tremendous pressure, I started binge eating, and my body began to gain weight rapidly and continuously. At that time, I saw the "truth," realizing that I had always lived in a giant bubble, thinking that standing on the shoulders of giants made me a giant. I also discovered an important "truth" that I was so pampered from childhood that I was incredibly fragile mentally. I was utterly defeated by the challenges life threw at me, almost losing my life. Through two cross-country entrepreneurial journeys spanning seven years, experiencing various pains, pressures, betrayals, disappointments, setbacks, persistence, losses, and struggles, my resilient character was gradually honed. I am grateful for my courage, despite the fear, to continuously choose to face various challenges. Through numerous trials and observing my choices during tests, I finally saw my faithful, strong, stable, and inherently sufficient self.

Returning to my real life, with a quickly adjusted calm heart, the lawyer completed the consultation and found that the inexplicable legal dispute wouldn't impact my life. I had various ways to protect myself and my family. I already had multiple strategies, family support, and legal protection to deal with this new challenge. On the other hand, with over ten years of professional experience and basic judgment of people, I chose a new dentist for my son. My intuition was that this dentist was more experienced and could handle it. The result was that this new dentist successfully and calmly completed the root canal treatment for my son in just 40 minutes. My son did not struggle and cooperated well during the process, and the treatment was very effective.

Since then, my ability to maintain a "calm heart" has reached a new level. However, "enlightenment" is the starting point, and my practice of "calm heart" has just begun.

My friend, when life throws various hardships and challenges at you, fully experience the pain and negative emotions they bring. This is a part of why we come to this world, but I sincerely pray you don't stay in these negative emotions for too long. You can choose to be repeatedly crushed by these challenges, or you can choose to quickly adjust yourself, quietly observe these challenges, and see them as just a game without being led by them. Then, bravely decide to ride them, letting them help you navigate through the waves and upgrade by overcoming obstacles.