Why Shared Book Reading is the Best Investment in Your Child's Future, and How to Read with Your Child in Joy and Growth

There is a saying:

From my personal growth experience, this statement is true. Although I earned a master's degree, the highest degree in my family, I must confess that I didn't understand the value of books during my studies. Except for required textbooks, I didn't love reading. It wasn't until after graduating from graduate school and starting work that I fell in love with reading. From an unpaid intern to department director, from department director to head of the U.S. market, and from head of the U.S. market to starting my own company as CEO, books have continuously upgraded my understanding, guided me in making major life decisions and shaped my life's direction. Thus, reading has become one of my most important hobbies.

In the past five years, since the birth of my son, I have gradually shifted from being a woman wholly devoted to career development to a mother learning to balance career and family. I thought, if I only fell in love with books after graduating from graduate school and these books had such a significant impact on my life in just over a decade, what if my child could love reading from an early age? That would be a fortunate thing for both the child and the parents. I can't decide whether my child will love reading, but I can do my best to influence him.

In the past two years, I spent over 100 hours reading hundreds of story picture books with my child. I witnessed his rapid language growth and saw the immense returns of my efforts as a new mother in the field of "family education."

However, I wasn't a parent who understood the value of reading picture books with children from the beginning. I even had to be separated from my three-year-old son for a year due to work, missing his critical language development period, which made me feel particularly guilty. So, in the past two years, I have been working hard to make up for it. Initially, I was resistant to reading picture books to my child. Every weekend, the kindergarten teacher would assign a picture book for parents to read with their children, and the child needed to draw a picture based on the book while the parents had to write a reading reflection. This felt like a burden. Taking the child to various after-school classes and outings on weekends was already tiring enough, and now I had to read picture books, draw, and write reflections, too?! So, I always approached this task with the mindset of dealing with Burdon.

Sometimes, the child's grandmother would help read these picture books on weekends. I noticed that when the grandmother read, she often read the story directly from the book's text, and the child would soon lose interest and start squirming. Also, since she read directly from the text, her language was quite adult-like, using words and sentence structures that the child often couldn't understand. So, the grandmother found it tiring to read, and the child found it tiring to listen, resulting in the story not being absorbed by the child, leaving the grandmother frustrated and exhausted.

I also secretly observed how the father read picture books to the child. He not only read directly from the book's text but also used a stiff tone and complex words, which are unsuitable for a five-year-old to understand. He would finish the story quickly as if wanting to complete the task quickly to play games.

One of my entrepreneurial friends even launched an app that uses AI to read picture books to children. While I hope my friend achieves success, if this AI product becomes widely used, will our future children even lose the loving experience of sitting with their parents and reading stories, turning it into chatting with AI on the phone instead? Can you imagine a five-year-old hugging a phone before bed, listening to AI tell stories while their parents watch short videos on their phones? This thought makes me pause and reflect on the potential impact of technology on our children's reading experiences.

Reading picture books to children, which seems simple, is a pain point for most parents. Is there a universal method to make reading picture books relaxing, enjoyable, and genuinely helpful for children?

Chapter One: The Core Secrets to "Relaxed and Joyful" Shared Reading with Children

Because my child has a language delay, three years ago, I hired a speech therapist named Cathy to teach me how to help my child speak. Yes, this therapist didn't directly treat the child but instead educated me on how to treat my child's language issues daily.

When my child turned four, Cathy advised that it was time to start extensive picture book reading with him. At that time, I flatly refused her suggestion, feeling highly resistant and overwhelmed. I told Cathy that I was already exhausted from work and caring for my child's daily needs, leaving no extra energy for picture book training. The thought of needing my child to "retell stories" and "expand vocabulary" made me feel utterly drained, especially since my four-year-old could barely speak coherently, let alone retell a story!

However, Cathy earnestly told me,

So, following her advice, I spent two years training myself to regularly read picture books to my child. Suddenly, one day, I found that reading picture books was no longer a burden, a task, or a drain but an incredibly delightful activity. Reading picture books became a bedtime habit for my child. Every night before bed, my child insists on me reading a story to him; otherwise, he can't sleep. I would calmly take out a pre-prepared picture book to read to him, and after reading, we would engage in various exciting discussions about the story. Sometimes, he would chat animatedly; sometimes, I would gesticulate wildly while talking, and it felt like a mother and son happily bouncing around. Reading picture books became an activity my child absolutely loves and a source of nourishment for me as well.

I remember my significant transformation stemmed from a picture book assigned by the kindergarten for the weekend called "Grandma Lin's Peach Tree." This book tells an interesting story:

This story was profoundly moving for me. It used such bright, simple, and fluid illustrations to effortlessly explain a deeply profound concept—the wisdom of giving. Embarrassingly, not just children, even those of us in our thirties, might not have genuinely grasped the philosophy of "giving."

Self-made successful businessman Gary Vaynerchuk once said, "Give more than you take." I used to think this was just a pretty phrase to gain favor. But after reading this picture book, I found it to be true. Mr. Beast's YouTube channel has nearly 300 million subscribers and focuses on generous giving. He chose to donate his first $10,000 sponsorship to a homeless person on the street, asking him to vow to use the money to improve his life rather than on meaningless things like alcohol and cigarettes. This video went viral, helping the homeless man and bringing massive traffic to Mr. Beast's channel. Subsequently, his videos featured more and more acts of giving, and he even founded a charity. These are potent manifestations of "giving," yet this children's picture book had already effortlessly conveyed this principle clearly.

After reading this picture book, I was so joyful that I happily completed the school's required drawing and reading reflection with my child. From then on, I couldn't stop myself. Every day, I would carefully select picture books that I found inspiring as well. Thus, shared reading with my child became a mutually enjoyable experience rather than an energy drain.

Therefore, the core secret to relaxed and joyful shared reading of picture books is selecting high-quality books that benefit both adults and children. Through shared reading, we achieve an exchange of ideas and connection, leading to mutual improvement. Only when parents genuinely enjoy this process and benefit from it, without feeling it's a task or a one-sided effort, can reading picture books become a "magical" activity.

How do you choose high-quality picture books that benefit both adults and children?

I have shared my selected good books in the “resource library” and welcome everyone to help update and add your recommended picture books, benefiting the entire career mom community.

Chapter Two: Five Benefits of Getting Children to Love Reading Picture Books with You

Benefit One: Reading Picture Books is the Best Way to Impart Correct Values to Children

Why is reading picture books with children the best educational investment for career moms? After reading hundreds of picture books to my child, I finally understood why. Career moms are so busy, and the time they spend with their children is very limited, so you need high-quality companionship. In other words, you must spend your time and energy on educational projects yielding the greatest benefits. Taking children to various tutoring classes is important, but whether it's school or tutoring, they are all about "skills" training. In contrast, family education is the core education of "Dao" (the way).

Parents need to teach children the correct core values, worldviews, and life views, the right mindset to face setbacks, proper healthy eating habits, the ability to manage and use money, basic principles of interacting with others, and methods for making major life decisions. These are things that school teachers won't teach children; it's the parents' responsibility. Parents can impart these fundamental concepts through parent-child reading by selecting suitable picture books. During the reading process, it's also an opportunity for parents to educate, reflect, and elevate themselves.

Children aged 5-8 are rapidly awakening and developing their consciousness. Their minds are like sponges at this stage, quickly absorbing external information and various values. Reading a large number of picture books with correct values to children during this period helps them establish proper concepts of conduct. If this stage is missed, the influence parents have on shaping their children's values will diminish year by year. Therefore, reading high-quality picture books to young children is a value investment that will significantly impact their lives and will compound as they grow. Conversely, if parents miss this golden educational period, the children's growth will be left to their future circumstances.

Benefit Two: Reading Picture Books is the Key to Opening Your Child's Inner World

When I asked my young son how his day at kindergarten was, he often responded with "I don't know" or "I forgot." Children spend at least 50% of their time at school, but we know almost nothing about their school life. Their time at home is spent on various activities like playing with toys, going outings, and daily routines. As parents, we don't have many ways to understand our children's inner world unless we have a lot of time to talk with them. But what should we talk about? Without a healthy communication mechanism, our conversations with children will eventually become simple routine questions like "What did you eat today?" or "What did you do today?" The child will eventually be reluctant to have in-depth communication with us. By the time they reach adolescence, their room door might have a "Do Not Disturb" sign, and parents will lose the opportunity to understand their children's inner world and gradually lose the chance to guide them effectively.

However, reading picture books opens the door to effective communication between parents and children. Reading picture books seems like an act of output from parents to children. In fact, quite the opposite, reading picture books is the key for children to express their hidden inner world to adults. Parents need to learn how to engage in interactive reading, guiding children to actively participate in the reading experience. Parents should ask questions from various angles to guide children in answering or engaging in deep discussions about picture books. In the following text, I will delve into how to conduct interactive reading with children. By understanding the inner world of their children, parents can identify the child's confusion, emotional knots, emotions, and current values. By deepening their understanding of their children, parents can teach according to their children's individual needs rather than unilateral output from parents. This kind of education is efficient.

Benefit Three: Parents Reading Picture Books with Their Children Can Improve Their Language Skills

Since my child was three years old, I have been learning from speech therapist Cathy on how to treat my child's language delay at home. To date, I have been studying children's speech therapy for nearly three years. Through three years of study and practice, I have personally experienced the significant impact of reading picture books on a child's language development. The impact mainly includes the following aspects:

1. Language Precision. The precision with which children describe events is a critical topic. For example, in an article I previously wrote called "How to Master Emotions," I mentioned that my child told me that a girl in his class threw him from the third floor to the first floor. After watching the surveillance footage, I realized he meant that a classmate pulled him down the stairs. But he didn't know the noun "stairs" nor the verb "pulled," so he used the simple language he knew to describe the experience. However, due to the inaccuracy of his language, I was greatly shocked, and it even led to a severe conflict with the school until I saw the truth of the matter. Therefore, improving the accuracy of a child's event description is one of the core aspects of early language education. This way, the child can accurately describe what happens at school, helping parents handle situations timely and correctly. While reading picture books, we can have the child retell the story at the end, allowing us to understand and guide the child's language precision.

2. Vocabulary, Sentence Structure, and Pronunciation Correction. Reading picture books can help children expand their vocabulary, including nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions, locative terms, quantifiers, adverbs, etc. Learning these words can help children improve the precision of their event descriptions, including time, place, related people, the course of events, results, severity, and various emotional reactions. This helps children and parents quickly understand and resolve events. By having children retell the stories in picture books, parents can help children build correct sentence structures, allowing them to learn to express their views fluently. During the story retelling process, parents can correct the child's mispronunciations, making their expression clearer and more understandable. Clear communication skills will become important social capital for the child.

3. Development of Social Language. The age of 5-8 is a period of rapid social language development for children. Through various interpersonal interaction scenes in picture books, parents can teach children crucial social language, such as how to greet others, introduce themselves, make friends, resolve physical and verbal conflicts with other children, view competition among people at school, get along friendly in a community, protect themselves and establish boundaries to avoid being infringed upon, etc. Parents can't be at school to teach children these social languages on the spot, but reading picture books with them and practicing the scenes in the books will help parents impart the wisdom of social language to their children. Humans are social animals, and the trend of fewer children leads to the original "big family" structure increasingly becoming "small family." In the trend of increasingly one-child families, our children have fewer opportunities to practice social language through interactions with siblings at home. Therefore, parents reading picture books related to social language with children will become an excellent educational approach.

4. Expansion of Summarization, Memory, Concentration, Comprehension, and Logic Skills. After parents finish reading a picture book to their children, they can have the child try to retell the story. This method simultaneously trains the child's summarization, memory, concentration, comprehension, and logic skills, making it a very powerful and effective educational method. Children need to have all of the above five skills and an extensive vocabulary and sentence structure to retell stories more completely. Therefore, parents must not rush. The most important thing is to make children fall in love with reading. If children are asked to retell stories from the beginning, it dampens their enthusiasm and creates negative feelings about reading. Story retelling should only be conducted after reading many picture books and ensuring that the child is helplessless in love with picture books. Moreover, when requiring children to retell stories, parents need great patience. They should take a step-by-step approach, starting with the child being able to give a rough idea to use as accurate vocabulary and sentence structures as possible and finally achieving complete retelling. This process might take one year, two, five, or even ten years. Parents must not rush. A child's growth is not a result but a process; enjoying this process with the child is a thousand times more important than achieving any results.

Benefit Four: Parents Reading Picture Books with Their Children Can Help Regulate Their Emotions and Aid Sleep

Since my child and I have formed a habit of reading picture books for 15 minutes before bed every night at 9 o'clock, those 15 minutes are not long, but it has become an essential habit for regulating my child's emotions and sleep. After reading a story, he can often fall asleep more quickly. I found nothing more effective, healthier, and free of side effects as a sleep aid than reading picture books. If we miss reading a picture book one day, my child will pitifully tell me that he feels unhappy, sad, and disappointed today and hopes I can read him a picture book. After I read the picture book to him, he says his mood has finally improved today. I find him both funny and adorable, and I marvel at the immense emotional regulation power of reading.

Reading is not only effective for regulating children's emotions but also the most effective method for relieving adult stress.

Studies have shown that reading books can significantly reduce stress. According to a study by the University of Sussex in the UK, reading for just six minutes can reduce stress levels by up to 68%. This study shows that reading is more effective than other relaxation methods, such as listening to music or drinking tea. Reading allows you to immerse yourself in a literary world away from daily stress and relaxes the body by lowering heart rate and relieving muscle tension. This process makes reading a healthy psychological escape, helping you break free from the worries of daily life. By spending time reading each day, especially choosing books that relax and delight you, you can improve your overall quality of life and significantly reduce your stress levels. (Kumon UK) (Taking Charge of Your Wellbeing). Therefore, as I said at the beginning of the article, "If you can make a child fall in love with reading, you have completed 50% of education." If parents are fortunate enough to make their children fall in love with reading, it will benefit the child for a lifetime.

Benefit Five: Parents Reading Picture Books with Their Children Can Effectively Strengthen the Bond with Their Children

When children lie in their parents' arms and read picture books, it is a moment of close connection between parents and children. Only parents and children who have personally experienced it can feel this loving connection. I won't explain more. Those who understand will understand, and those who don't will never understand. As children grow, such moments will become fewer and fewer, forming the core memories for both parents and children. Therefore, reading picture books with children is not an obligation and responsibility of parents; it is actually a right. This shared reading time is a gift from heaven to all parents and children, and it only lasts for a few short years. As I mentioned at the beginning of the article, my entrepreneurial friend is launching an AI picture book reading application for children in the market. If AI eventually replaces the time parents spend reading picture books with their children, it is unfortunate for the child, and even more tragic for the parents.

Since reading picture books with their children has so many benefits, how should parents conduct interactive reading with their children?

Chapter Three: How to Conduct Interactive Picture Book Reading with Children

Conducting interactive reading with children requires three stages:

Stage One: Before Reading

Choosing High-Quality Picture Books Suitable for Both Children and Parents

First, you need to determine if the picture book matches the child's current age and comprehension level. Some picture books might be too simple, suitable for early-stage toddlers aged one to three, and these books are easy to identify. Some picture books have few illustrations and a lot of text; I suggest parents minimize such books because they are more suitable for children in grades four or five of elementary school or even later in junior high school, at which point children are used to reading by themselves and do not need parents to read with them. When our children are between the ages of 4-8, try to choose picture book stories with rich illustrations and minimal text, with the text serving more as cues for the adults rather than for the children to read. The first principle of selecting high-quality picture books is to have rich illustrations and a lively and easy-to-understand storyline. I have seen many picture books with perplexing plots; if adults find them baffling, do not self-doubt and avoid choosing these picture books for your children. As the child's parent, you have every right to select the picture books you agree with because children can only be interested in picture books that interest you first. Children can catch the emotional energy from you when you tell the story.

Secondly, based on meeting the above basic conditions, if the picture book story is related to the child's recent personal experiences, that is the best choice. You can reference the child's relevant experiences during the reading process to ensure their understanding and help them learn something from it. For example, my child recently had the painful experience of "visiting the dentist," so I chose related picture books about dental care to read to him, conveying the importance of correct dietary habits and personal hygiene. My son, who initially loved eating cotton candy, has now given up this obsession after reading picture books about dental care and connecting them to his painful experience at the dentist.

Moreover, I choose various picture books that promote positive values, such as books about "courage," because visiting the dentist requires overcoming great fear and courage. Children at the age of 5 start to expand their social skills and experience various social setbacks, such as being laughed at, bullied, or isolated. So, I also chose many related picture books about interpersonal relationships, such as "What Should I Do if Someone Bullies Me? Can I Hit Back?" and "How to Choose Friends That Suit You."

I have shared my selected good books in the “resource library” and welcome everyone to help update and add your recommended picture books, benefiting the entire career mom community.

Additionally, parents need to create a comfortable reading environment. For example, I bought a reading pillow and reading light (click here). At 9 PM sharp, we turn off the lights. I lie on the reading pillow, my child jumps into my arms, we turn on the reading light, and start our comfortable and pleasant shared reading experience.

Stage Two: During Reading

Interactive, Enlightening Reading

Before starting the reading, show the child the cover picture and title, letting the child guess what the picture book is about, allowing the child to embark on this reading journey with curiosity and a verifying attitude.

During the reading process, parents need to learn to ask various "open-ended" questions. These words, "open-ended," are very important; they are the core and key to interactive reading. Through hundreds of hours of parent-child reading training, I found that one of the most common mistakes parents make is frequently asking children "closed-ended questions" instead of "open-ended questions." It's like when we train children to walk, as parents, we tend to cautiously hold the child's hand, carefully and worryingly, fearing they might fall. This ultimately leads to the child taking longer to learn to walk. Little do we know, falling is the fastest way for children to learn to walk.

For example, when I tell my child the story of the little lazy bug, I might ask, "What do you think the little lazy bug is doing on the mushroom?" This is a very specific, closed-ended, leading question to which the child can lazily respond with two words: "singing." An open-ended question would be: "What do you think the little lazy bug is doing?" The child then needs to use more language and vocabulary to answer based on their understanding: "It is singing on the mushroom." So, when you ask open-ended questions, you get more valuable information about the child's comprehension ability, language expression ability, logical reasoning ability, memory ability, and concentration level from their responses, allowing you to know which areas the child needs more improvement in. Sometimes, the child's answer might surprise you, giving you a new perspective.

Common open-ended questions include:

• What is the story's protagonist doing?

• What do you think will happen next?

• Why do you think the protagonist did that?

• If you were the protagonist, how would you feel in that situation?

• Have you ever experienced something similar? What did you do then?

Another essential reading technique is linking the picture book story to the child's experiences. This is why selecting picture books related to the child's recent experiences is crucial in the selection stage. Using the example of the child visiting the dentist, when we read picture books about teeth, I would ask:

• "This child in the picture book ate a lot of candy, so his teeth went bad. What did you learn from this?"

If parents can voice different characters, varying the pitch and tone, making it high and low, loud and soft, rough and delicate, children will be thrilled to listen to your story. Even more amazing parents can role-play with their children, acting out the story from the picture book together. Whenever my child and I act out a story from a picture book, we laugh so hard we fall over.

If the above discussion seems complicated for parents new to picture book reading, start with the most basic participatory reading. For example, ask the child what objects are in the picture, what shapes the candies are, how many ducks there are, etc. These simple questions ensure the child participates in the experience rather than passively receiving the parent's reading. This helps increase the interest in reading and enhance the child's concentration.

The most important thing is that parents need to downgrade their language to the child's understanding level, using a child-like tone to tell the story. This ensures equal and effective communication.

Teaching children to "express their emotions" is a significant benefit of shared picture book reading. Parents can discuss the various emotions experienced by the story's protagonist in different scenes and link them to the child's real-life experiences. Through extensive related training, my child often tells me he is now scared, disappointed, sad, happy, proud, angry, etc., which makes me very gratified. I remember my child couldn't say any words when he was three due to a language delay, so he liked to hit people. If a child cannot easily express their emotions, they will convey them through violent physical actions. Therefore, teaching children to express their emotions healthily through shared picture book reading is one of the best gifts parents can give to their children.

Stage Three: After Reading

The Key to Upgrading Children's Language Skills and Making Them Little Superhumans

The third stage is an optional addition that can be done once the first two stages are easily achieved and the child loves reading, which is crucial for enhancing the child's overall abilities. Parents can practice the following exercises with their children:

1. Retelling the Story. After telling the story, parents can have the child flip through the book and retell the story from start to finish. This can confirm the child's understanding of the story's main characters and events and their memory ability. Do not demand perfection. Initially, the child's language will be fragmented and brief. Parents can assist in completing the story retelling, including helping the child add conjunctions and use correct verbs and nouns. Each assistance from the parent allows the child to experience and understand the proper way of expression. The more stories retold, the better the child will become at it.

2. Asking What They Learned. Ask the child what they learned from the story, what their favorite part of the story is, and why they liked that part. Let the child speak freely and chat imaginatively without limitations. This greatly enhances the child's expression ability and helps parents understand the child's current comprehension and logical abilities.

3. Expanding the Story. Have the child expand the story's ending, imagine a different solution, or draw a picture based on their understanding. This helps the child think outside the box and view problems differently. Even adults need to constantly break their thinking limitations, which is a way to upgrade themselves.

Below is my compilation and examples of open-ended questions. I hope it can inspire interested parents.

Chapter Four: "Joyful" Experience is the Only Goal of Shared Picture Book Reading Between Parents and Children

Lastly, and most importantly, "joy" is the only important experience in shared picture book reading. How much the child's language skills improve, their logical reasoning skills progress, etc., are not the most important; they are just additional benefits, optional and secondary. Human nature is to pursue joy; only intrinsic joyful experiences can produce long-term motivation. External material rewards, such as buying gifts for the child or giving stickers, can only have a short-term effect. Therefore, the most important thing is that both parents and children can enjoy this process.

If parents can temporarily let go of the anxiety and interference of "goal orientation," that is, let go of the obsession with the child's language training goals or the expectation of improving the child's various abilities, and just experience the joy of reading picture books, it is an incredibly fortunate and worthy thing to celebrate. Parents need to cultivate a sense of "relaxation" in shared reading. When you are relaxed, the child will be relaxed. Reading then becomes a light and enjoyable activity, not a task.

When you enjoy this process, the child can feel your emotional energy and enthusiasm while reading picture books. This will significantly influence the child's reading enthusiasm, making them feel that reading picture books with their parents is fun. The child will associate positive emotions with reading, laying a solid foundation for a lifelong love of books.

Choosing the right picture books is the key to a joyful reading experience. This requires you to spend enough time understanding what your child has recently experienced. If you leave your child with grandparents and do not get involved, you won't be able to select suitable picture books for your child. The time spent with your child and the life experiences you share with them are the most valuable educational capital you can accumulate. Without sufficient educational capital, education cannot occur.

When you have accumulated enough educational capital, you will definitely reap long-term compound effects.

I have shared my selected good books in the “resource library” and welcome everyone to help update and add your recommended picture books, benefiting the career mom community.